Monday, December 21, 2009

90% vs 10%

A quick note about survival rates and people fighting cancer (me). Intellectually I can read and digest that the "cure" rate of Stage II Hodgkin's Lymphoma is 90%. I can also intellectually infer that my possibility of cure should be even higher as I am young, fit, and positive with a good support system. However, 10% is FREAKIN' HUGE as a death rate when YOU are the one who has cancer. Just sayin'.

I am not knockin' the people who have tried to encourage me with statistics and stories. They are helpful and often inspiring. Please understand though, that once in a while I feel sad and worried and scared. I think I'm entitled to have these feelings...hopefully not more than 10% of the time.

2 comments:

  1. You are entitled to those feelings and any others you may have! Just know you've got lots of people who are here to listen/offer shoulders to cry on, and will listen as much and as long as is necessary for you to feel better!

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  2. The 90/10 ratio...

    Quite a few moons ago, I found myself expecting my 3rd child. I was 37 and had suffered two sequential miscarriages, that utterly devastated me. They were deaths in the family to me, not "oh well, she can always have another child."

    I distinctly recall the doctor telling me that a severe birth defect that had manifested itself in my ex-husband's family, plus my "ELDERLY* Multi-gravida" status meant I was left with a 10% chance of a severe problem pregnancy. So, yes, everyone thought, oh my god, what GREAT odds you have my dear.

    Well, I thought "when I was in my 20's the odds of a birth defect problem were about 1/2500 and now they are 1/10 and people are HAPPY about that??"

    So I had to do some severe mind rattling, so I could stay pregnant and positive without freaking out with fear. And that's exactly what I did. If I were told I had a 90% chance of winning a lottery, would I be happy? YOU BET I would!

    Once I transferred that into a 90% chance of winning my own personal lottery (having my new baby live and be born a normal child), I started to breathe through the fearful times, through the months of waiting and tests and worry.

    And I won my lottery BIG time, with the birth of a beautiful, perfect baby girl, my Victoria, little sister for two brothers. So Karla, just think of the miracle of birth, the miracle of family, the miracles that have brought you all together and the miracle of good fortune that will cut that 10% down to zero once your treatment is done. Stay UP!!!

    Love,
    Kathryn

    * I wonder what I am called now that I am 54? Senescent Multi-Gravida?

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