Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
My main large tumour on the right side of my neck has shrunk significantly. It is borderline abnormal. There are no other significant lymph nodes on either side of my neck (great news).
The cluster of tumours in my mediastinum (chest) has also shrunk a lot. It is a little bigger than borderline but is still looking pretty good.
There was a measurment of a new lymph node in my right lung. It is VERY small and grew from .4 cm to 1.0cm. 1 cm is still borderline. They aren't too sure what this could be - measurement error or perhaps just something caused by the cold I had/have and the cough I am still fighting.
These weren't rock star results but, overall, were positive in nature. However, me being the person I am, I wanted ROCK STAR. And, to be honest, they had lead me to believe it was possible that the tumours would be totally unremarkable by now. Anyway, I still have 4 treatments (that oughta do it).
My cough is becoming very annoying. I'm being sent for another cardio-pulmonary test, hopefully this week, to see what's going on. I think it's just a lingering cold effect but we need to rule out the Bleomycin causing any serious lung damage.
Last, my labs were bizzarre this week. Neutrophils were 4.5. I have no idea what that is all about and nobody seemed to be able to offer an explanation. Perhaps it was cutting back the Vinblastine? Perhaps it's just a crazy one-off? Very confused about that one (and my WBC was high and RBC was low). Who knows? What I DO know is that I had 2 weeks of feeling, dare I say it, normal and I really enjoyed them. Hopefully tomorrow doesn't send me off in the other direction.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
I have complete and utter disdain for CT Scans. Contrast drink tastes like copier fluid (or at least a "light" version of it). The last few cups you have to drink of it trigger the gag reflex (1.5L is the norm). Then you change into your gown and robe. Then you nearly freeze to death until they can cover you in warm blankies (cold because the lack of clothing AND the fact that you just drank 1.5L of cold fluid). Then you lie on the table. Then you get a large iv needle dropped in you. Then you wait for the dye to be shot through you. This particular sensation is definitely the WORST part of a ct scan. First you feel a warm sensation running through your innards and that is quickly followed by an indescribable taste in your mouth and then you feel like you are going to pee yourself. If you are lucky (like me) they shoot the dye through twice. Once for the lower parts (abdomen and pelvis) and once for the upper parts (neck). I know it's just a scan. You would think that after 8 treatments of chemo that I'd "butch up" a bit, but cts are gross. Plus, you have to wait a week to get your results. Sigh. I'll get my report card on Friday at my regular check-up appointment.
My husband shaved my head for me today. My hair was looking really strange. There were definite bald patches and the little bit of length I did have actually sort of made my scalp ache when I would take off my head covering. It was VERY interesting to see me so close to bald. First of all, I knew I had a couple of small scars from stitches but had never seen them before. Second, we discovered a "stork bite" birthmark at the back of my neck/bottom of my head (it's kind of neat because my littlest girl has one there too). Third (and now I will sound like a braggart but whatev, I have cancer, what can you say?), I have a GREAT head shape! Fourth, I look REALLY sick when I don't have any make-up on. I have provided a photo for you but please be warned, it's HIDEOUS!! Ok maybe not hideous but I definitely look cancer-y.
Also note my lack of eyebrows....they are slowly falling out and are super blonde to begin with...
Sorry to scare you like that. The reality is that you'll likely never see me with no make-up, BUT, I see myself like this a lot. Sometimes it is hard to face. Other times I honestly just have to laugh. Luckily I am going through a "good" stage right now and can find the humour in the otherwise grotesque!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Here is my friend Lana and I at treatment yesterday:
Thank you Lana for the visit - it was exactly what I needed yesterday to get through the infusion!
I'm determined to have a good week this week. I am still battling my tummy issues but am trying to remain upbeat. Part of what's made this possible is actually letting myself "let go" a bit and not worry so much about everything being perfect. Also, I'm back to the art of planning and lists so that I feel a little more in control of my situation. I am really missing working out and am hoping that I can start working that back in to my routine.
Then again, this is Tuesday. Normally I don't feel "bad" until late Wednesday. Hopefully my new 'tude can hold regardless. Additionally, I have my big CT scan on Thursday morning. I hate CT scans. All that contrast drink and then the IV dye. Yuck. However, it's at 7am and hopefully won't wreck the ENTIRE day!
My head has been swirling with lots of thoughts these days. A close friend forwarded me a very interesting article that I am going to link here because I totally GET this woman! I hope you will take the time to read it and take something from it, perhaps a different way of thinking about people who are fighting this crappy disease. http://www.vancouversun.com/opinion/Cancer+best+thing+that+ever+happened/2752354/story.html
Food for thought anyway!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
(photo of me getting treated on the 22nd of March with Hubs by my side)